It’s the final night of the decade, and New Year’s Eve has a special place in my heart as it is the night I was discharged from the hospital in 2010 after my transplant re-birth and let loose to start my new life.
Looking back on 2019 and the last 10 years, I am truly thankful for all the failures and setbacks because they shaped the man I am today. The process hasn’t been pretty or unfolded as I wished, but it’s the love I have received from the universe which has overwhelmed me with blessings. I spent the entire decade searching for answers. I had deep questions about my body and life. My anatomy was changed and I was fused with quantum energy from another human being, thereby evolving my destiny. I was gifted with a second chance to discover my purpose.
As I grew and began to love the new me, what felt like trapped emotions were released from my liver and I began to experience a rush of love that words will not do justice. I listened to it. I tapped into it. I meditated in it. I cried with it. I grew love for it. The 2010’s was a decade of self-discovery and growth which has enabled me to start the 2020’s as a decade of love and healing.
I call it… yellow love
As I reflect back on the journey, the color yellow was a dominant force in my life. After being diagnosed with an autoimmune liver disease at 10 years old, my doctors informed my family and I that one day I would turn yellow and need a new liver. I was frightened and I felt trapped. From that moment on, it felt like a clock was ticking. Every night, I went to bed scared in dread of that day that I would turn yellow and require a transplant. I threw away all of my yellow clothes and told my parents I did not want anything yellow ever again. I avoided it at all costs as thoughts of jaundice, liver failure, and death would fill my mind with painful emotions of fear and hopelessness…. Fear of my own body, fear of the unknown, and ultimately fear of death.
Finally the day I dreaded the most arrived. I said goodbye to my family as I was carted away into a cold and bright room. I was ready but I also wasn’t. I had no choice and no control so all I could do was surrender. The sole desire in my heart was to just be free. Then all of a sudden…. My entire world went from yellow to black.
Next thing I knew, I became aware, but my world felt different… People were around me. Was that my dad? Why was he crying? I wanted to talk to him, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even open my eyes or move. Was this just a dream? Then I woke up. Confused. Startled. Shook. I saw my mom’s big beautiful eyes staring down at me. With tears all over her face she smiled and said, “You made it.” I had no idea what she was talking about. I looked down and saw my hands were tied down. I had tubes and wires connected to me everywhere. Through the opening of my gown I saw the staples…. Then the rush of pain hit me. Why did I come back to feel all this pain? Why did my body feel different? As I pushed to feel more of my body, I felt a new cleansing sensation inside and I felt so alive that the pain felt good and victorious. I was weak and I couldn’t even talk, but in that moment, I was happy. I felt loved and accepted. Everything was going to be okay. A waterfall of tears poured down my face as I realized another soul had passed the torch on to me and my life’s purpose wasn’t over. It was just beginning. I was reborn. In a matter of days, the color yellow faded from my body as my eyes began to shine bright with love and vibrance. My biggest fear was now a part of my past.
The primary force that kept me going was faith and prayer that I’d find the answer and a way out. Ultimately, that grew into hunger, which drove my fight to not give up. As I began each day with this intention, the answers slowly showed up….
- A plant-based alkaline diet and lifestyle change empowered me to build a new body free of disease.
- Yoga and meditation helped me let go of the past and breathe in new life to bless my body and transplanted liver with love, acceptance, and health.
- Reading and journaling opened up my mind to learn and discover the answers to the questions in my heart.
- Movement in the form of exercise and education transformed my new physical experience.
My body is far from perfect. It is imperfectly perfect and that is the beauty of our existence and this cosmic miracle we live in together. As I grew to accept and appreciate the new me, all of those emotions transformed into a love for the color yellow. This newfound love and forgiveness for yellow energy allowed me to wake up, transcend, and heal my solar plexus chakra.
Here I am today, ready for the new decade. Yellow is my new favorite color. After finally understanding the root cause of my disease was in the diet, chemicals, and fear taking over my body, I possessed the key to liberating and healing myself from the downward spiral of chronic diseases. The color yellow used to haunt me, but now it gives me energy. I look forward to spending the coming years sharing my experience and learnings with all of you while advocating for more love and healing in our world. Pain is merely a signal calling for change. Wake up, transform your pain into power, and let your light shine bright. Open up your heart to what is out there for you and it will come to you.
Life itself as consciousness is a seed that can be planted anywhere… in a plant, microorganism, organ, animal, and human being. We are all fundamentally just a collection of quantum energy. It’s the environment in which our seed grows that determines who we are and who we become. As we kick off the new decade, I am hopeful that we all listen to ourselves and observe this beautiful world we call home. You are enough and you are loved.
Happy New Year and New Decade!